Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
