This girl is more easily done than said...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
