This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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