Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
