ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize