I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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