what if every blade of grass was a penis?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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