how can u be prego again
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
