Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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