I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Found your dick twin last night
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
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