you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
