I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
