dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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