I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
