what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
do herpes really smell.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
