Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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