Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
