I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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