Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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