but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
