Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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