I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize