i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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