You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
