He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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