Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
