I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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