batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
