you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
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