tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
