I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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