Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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