In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
ttyl tear gas
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
