Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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