I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize