You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
