i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I FOUND THE LEGS
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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