Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
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Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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