No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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