On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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