I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
