hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
