i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
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Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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