Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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