the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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