he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
