"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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