I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
