i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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