Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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