I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
