You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
