I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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