Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
