i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
