Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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