remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
