Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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