love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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