I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
