evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Non-Jews are for practice
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
