also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
