well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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