I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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