Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
