I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
