Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
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I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
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You had me at "let me see your balls"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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