don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
