hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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