do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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