fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I have surprise drugs for everyone
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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