This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
