I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
